It kinda looks like Ben is in love with Juliet, but I'm inclined to think otherwise. At least he doesn't love her in the same way as Goodwin.
He says to Juliet "You're mine"... but expresses no desire for her, he makes no moves on her, but he is obsessed with her.
Goodwin and Juliet think Ben has a crush, but the only one with the answer is the shrink (I forget her name). The shrink mumbles to Juliet "You look just like her".... Who? Ben's mother.

Ben's mother was his reason for joining the hostiles. His vision of her on the island led him to cross the fence and meet Richard for the first time. It's also interesting to note that the island has the ability to bring you anything you think of (or so Ben has said)... This would mean Ben was thinking of his mother.

In the scene were he murder's his own father he says "I've missed her too", referring to his mum.

There is also the point that Ben has lied to everyone on the island about his birthplace, telling them that he was born on the island, when in fact he was not. He was born inland, and his mother died giving birth to him prematurely... just like all the other mothers on the island.

Richard says to Locke that Ben has them looking at reasons for the pregnant women's deaths and calls it something like a "science experiment". Richard doesn't see it as important, but Ben does. Its part of his obsession with his mother and her death, and possibly the guilt he feels over being the cause of it. The are dying because of him.

Locke had to kill his father in order to get over his past. What will Ben have to do to be released from his?

This has probably been discussed before on this site, but I'm pretty new, and although I tried to find a related thread, there's a lot to get through! So i thought I would just start a new thread

What do people think?

I'm new here, too, but I have watched all episodes up to date...

Interesting take on this episode...my first reaction was that the whole "you look just like her" line was that she looked just like the "friend" he had on the island (the one who gave him the doll for his birthday).

I don't remember what his mother looked like but now I'm inclined to dig into this a little deeper...

I agree with you 100%

This is why I think the "her" Harper is referring to is Ben's mother.

Everyone who thinks the "her" is Annie seems to be thinking of it in terms of a relationship between a man and woman and so if the "her" is Ben's mom then that just makes things creepy and weird.

But the relationship he wants so desperately with Juliet might be the kind that he never got to have with his mother. Love, tenderness, admiration, intellectual equality but not sexual.

Of course with so many things on LOsT it may be more complicated than that.
I think a lot of people in the real world seek out a spouse that share some of the qualities of their mom or dad. So if he does also want a husband and wife relationship with Juliet this would be understandable too.

To me the "her" being Annie is the easy answer, and it may very well be the right answer. I just believe that the woman Ben has always wanted to be in his life is his mother. Especially with his Dad constantly blaming Ben for his mom's death.
This along with the fact that we don't know what a grown up Annie looks like, Juliet looks more like Ben's mom than Annie.

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Doctor playing golf. Woo, boy howdy, now I've heard everything. What's next, cop eating a donut?

also, if you think it's some twist of fate that brought a spinal surgeon to the island when ben had a spinal tumour, he must have felt meaning behind juliette's presence as well, like she was specifically sent to him for another reason.

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I love my beautiful turnipheads...

But Juliette wasn't sent, he had Richard and Ethan stalk her to the point of cornering her in a morgue. Perhaps he read about her while off island, or found out about her work somehow, THEN felt it was fate, and made the rest history... including her ex being pancaked by the crosstown.

It's so funny about Ben, he looks suprised to find out that Locke knows about the 3.2 million dollars, yet doesn't bat an eye when a plane happens to crash through coordinates it takes a physicist to work out.

It's likely that Jacob sent for her, no?