LOSTTalk.net - View Single Post - "You look just like her"/ Ben's obsession

I agree with you 100%

This is why I think the "her" Harper is referring to is Ben's mother.

Everyone who thinks the "her" is Annie seems to be thinking of it in terms of a relationship between a man and woman and so if the "her" is Ben's mom then that just makes things creepy and weird.

But the relationship he wants so desperately with Juliet might be the kind that he never got to have with his mother. Love, tenderness, admiration, intellectual equality but not sexual.

Of course with so many things on LOsT it may be more complicated than that.
I think a lot of people in the real world seek out a spouse that share some of the qualities of their mom or dad. So if he does also want a husband and wife relationship with Juliet this would be understandable too.

To me the "her" being Annie is the easy answer, and it may very well be the right answer. I just believe that the woman Ben has always wanted to be in his life is his mother. Especially with his Dad constantly blaming Ben for his mom's death.
This along with the fact that we don't know what a grown up Annie looks like, Juliet looks more like Ben's mom than Annie.