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Flashes Before Your Eyes Inconsistancys

In 1995 Penelope Widmore met Desmond at a monastery in Scotland, where Desmond had lived as a novice but had recently been 'fired' from the order. Penny had arrived to pick up a shipment of Moriah Wine purchased by her father, and convinced Desmond to travel with her to Carlisle to deliver the wine. ("Catch-22") ……….Penny dated Desmond for two years prior to him meeting her father in 1996. Eventually, Penelope moved into Desmond's flat (he was apparently too proud to move into her larger one). After Desmond failed to get a job at the Widmore Corporation (or permission to marry Penny) she was rather pleased because she disliked the company of her father, and they decided to celebrate. Later, they met in London and had a photograph taken. Desmond had still been planning to marry Penny, but suddenly changed his mind just as he was about to purchase the ring. At the split up, Penelope told him he did that because he was a coward. ("Flashes Before Your Eyes") Right here is the contradiction about when these events occurred!!According to the producers, Desmond did really travel back in time, and the events he relived occurred in 1996. (Official Lost Podcast/February 20, 2007) They say he did relive events that occurred in 1996 but is that when he went back?
What "butterfly effects" will occur as a result of the changes Desmond made? He talked to Charlie, so Charlie should remember that now, and he took the hit from Jimmy Lennon, sparing the bartender. Why doesn’t Charlie remember that conversation if it happened?

So here is what I have found from Flashes Before Your Eyes.. This does make sense and it all stems from this episode.. All the blue text is my comments.. I bold Italic'd the info that I thought was important.